Every bodybuilder has two physiques; the Chevy Camaro, in which he his spends most of his days. Or, the Lamborghini that he cruises around in every couple of years or so, but only for short stretches at a time.
The Camaro physique is not a bad one to go through life with. It’s easy on the eyes, turns the occasional head and has some power when needed. Though it might not be the shining star of every intersection, and may have occasional body damage, it’s better than what most folks get around in. The bodybuilder maintains his Camaro physique with regular lifting, some occasional cardio and a mostly good diet.
That said, when it comes to maintaining the Camaro physique, workouts are often skipped, cardio is always just an option, and the occasional or even daily ice cream or pizza won’t take too much away from the mystique of the Camaro physique. In short, maintaining the Camaro physique is the act of being good enough and better than most – most of the time. It isn’t though, the sum of one’s best efforts, and it ain’t world class.
Every so often though, the desire to take the Lamborghini physique out of the garage surfaces. Unfortunately, it’s not as simple as pulling the cover off, charging the battery and checking the air in the tires. Prepping the Lamborghini physique for a road trip takes weeks if not months. This is a time when preparation is a 24/7 process, all the details matter and little attention can be given to too much else – which is why it doesn’t get driven too frequently or for long trips.
To maximize the Lamborghini physique, there requires only the best fuel. Constant attention must be paid to the surface – not a speck of dust anywhere. Protection must be given from outside damage at any cost, so anything that is not consistent with keeping the body clean is left behind.
In short, maintaining the Lamborghini physique is the Siberia of living. In exchange the sacrifices, one gets the luxury of being able to show off and blow off – anyone approaching or threatening to approach. It’s a bobble of vanity, injects little value into society and lends nothing to the advancement of our species, but we all need hobbies and this one is mine. Maybe, for short periods of time, it is a work of art. The Greeks and the Romans thought so.
When it’s all said and done, the thing is this…
When one gets around in the Camaro physique, it’s a nice little car. One wants to enjoy it – to fiercely accelerate on the freeway entrance ramp, change lanes with the flick of a wrist, leave the Prius at the red light in the dust, and draw looks from the lady getting out of the Mercedes in the grocery store parking lot. Though it may not be Indy, driving a Camaro physique every day can be a lot of fun. The Camaro physique is when most bodybuilders do most of their showing off in public.
Driving the Lamborghini physique, despite its immaculate aesthetic and powerful engine, is a time when most bodybuilders drive 55 and keep it covered up. The leaner I get, the more I tend to wear. That’s the secret pleasure in possessing something so beautiful – so powerful yet not letting on to anyone what you have under the cover and under the hood.
For me, truth be told, I’ve only busted out my Lamborghini physique a half-dozen times in my adult life, most recently in 2013. At that time, I kept it on the road for less than a year. I’ve always been content in my Camaro physique, working hard enough most of the time, to keep it from turning into a ’67 Ford Falcon with one door caved in. But it’s been calling me lately – the Lamborghini physique. Perhaps it’s just some feelings of the unfinished business of my youth bubbling toward the surface. Maybe I just need a distraction from a busy schedule and a home life with increasing demands. But it’s calling me. I’m already beginning to check the air in the tires, buff out the paint a little, fuel the engine well and may let it roar for a stretch.
This morning I was in the body shop – so to say. Barbell rows and deadlifts to Supertramp’s Crime Of The Century album. Breakfast was a variety of mixed vegetables and tofu. And then it occurs to me; can a Lamborghini physique be vegan…? Not sure. Stay tuned… Jhciacb.
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