Beth Rosen’s Right Breast…

Beth Rosen was the curvy Jewish girl who was seated in front of me during home room in the 9th grade.

It was the first hour of the first day of my short-lived high school career.

I had been attracted to Beth since halfway through the 5th grade. However, as was typical with awkward Jewish boys, I kept my feelings inward.

The manufacturers of Q-Tip swabs had recently switched from the white paper bodies between the swab ends, to hollow blue plastic bodies. I had learned from Steve Yates over the summer that this change in Q-Tip design would revolutionize spit-wads.

– Cut the Q-Tip in half and expose the hollow plastic body
– Take one half of the Q-Tip and fill it with glue
– Into the glue filled section, back in a sewing needle about half the length of the needle itself
– Let dry
– Insert newly made blow dart, ehr, spit-wad into a straw
– Aim
– Fire

And with such a blow dart, ehr, spit-wad, I would attempt to overcome my shyness with Beth Rosen.

Just 45 minutes into my high school career, I shot Beth Rosen in the right breast with a makeshift blow dart. I finally got her attention.

As a business man, my father was often out of town Monday-Friday. On that, my first day of high school though, he made sure he was in town, to pick me up and drill me, ehr, quiz me about my first day.


Lost Jilgeuros Preserve.  Fallbrook, CA 1/4/17

I’m sure my father wasn’t expecting a call at 9:45am that morning to pick me up and take me home. After a trip to the Deans office, I was assigned a 2-day suspension – my first 2 days of high school.

My father arrived promptly. It was a long ride home.

I was telling this story to a friend yesterday, and though her eyes got quite large as I disclosed the events of that day in 1976, her eyes got even larger when I told her I had dozens more stories – just like this one, and that some of them even involved, oh, what’s the term…? Squad cars. Yes, squad cars.

Shortly thereafter, I released myself from high school on my own recognizance. It was just better this way. Beth Rosen and I would become friends, but never dated. Must have been something I said – or did… Jhciacb


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