On a recent evening, I was having drinks with a male friend — a single and actively-looking-for-a-long-term-relationship friend — when he asked me why there seemed to be so many married women on Tinder. Did they just want to flirt? My husband and I met at a party on a quiet street in a college town. More women were beginning to see opening their marriages as a legitimate and in many ways appealing option. I wondered if Tinder, which brought the world of dating within finger-tap distance, was accelerating the shift? It seemed common knowledge that apps like Tinder had transformed single life and dating. Were they transforming marriage as well?
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"I basically told him, it's either divorce or open marriage." I wasn't sure if it was my boyfriend's or from someone I'd met in Spain. When I went off everything, I got my personality back, but our sex life still didn't pick back up. Sometimes I'll say let's hook up tonight and he'll say, I'll make sure you come. It's not a secret that I'm married, but it's also not something I want to think I was pretty sure Dave was sleeping with someone else while I was.
It's a Wednesday night, and my boyfriend and I are drinking wine and making out in the back booth of a dimly lit bar. It feels like nothing else in the world exists… until my phone vibrates.
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You seem like you might be a pretty non-judgmental person, so I'm hoping you can bring that view to my problem. I'm a married guy who has been having an affair for almost a year. I love my wife and our kids and our life together but our sex life has become quite boring for me. I am also in love with a beautiful woman that I met at my gym. She's a bit younger than me and seems totally fine with the fact that I'm married and can't be a full-time partner to her. This arrangement has been working out great for me.