Dark times come, but they always pass – they always pass. Waiting for depressed or suicidal feelings to pass might be the hardest thing I live with from week to week, and day to day. I hope to remind those who also live with such feelings, that they will always pass.
For many, depression or suicidal feelings are foreign and unrelatable. For others, if we are lucky enough to connect, it’s as though we share a common language which we’re afraid to speak in public, for fear having a net thrown over us. Throw a net over everyone who lives with depression and/or suicidal thoughts, and say goodbye to most artists, many creative thinkers, and all baristas everywhere.
I have lived with depression and suicidal thoughts since I was in elementary school. These often need to be dealt with daily. When I frame it that way, I have been successfully taking on and overcoming such feelings for more than 50 years. Do something regularly for 50 years, and one is likely to be good at it.
I am quite adept at finding ways to ride out the storms of chaos in my mind, because experience has taught me that it passes – it always passes.
At the end of the day, for me, the idea is to do whatever is necessary to win the day. This might include music, food, or companionship. More likely though, it involves exercise, solitude, and nature.
Last night I was in dark place. The reasons why aren’t important. Exercise didn’t make a dent. Nature helped, but not a great deal. So, I sat home alone. I reached out scarcely on social media, and was met with a wave of kind thoughts and well wishes. That helped more than I can convey.
A simple comment was all it took to reassure me, and to remind me I’m not alone. I was taken by the number of replies I got; emails, text messages, and phone calls comforted me until bed time. It wasn’t too long before I was centered once again – and grateful for the flow of compassion.
It passed. It always passes.
Today is a new day. As I sipped coffee this morning, after a good night’s sleep, I held close to my dog. As his chest moved in and out in my hands, and as his eyes declared the peace within, I felt needed, if not inspired. As I reflect on all who reached out last night, I am humbled.
Today there is dew on the grasses in the meadow, and blossoms waiting to be photographed by me. Clients need to be trained. Dishes need to be washed. And a little girl, who ain’t so little anymore, still owns my heart.
Last night, with the help of social media, and with the compassion of many friends, I won the day. It passes. It always passes.. Jhciacb
IF YOU’RE EXPERIENCING A HEAVY DEPRESSION OR SUICIDAL FEELINGS, REACH OUT. THE NATIONAL SUICIDE PREVENTION HOTLINE IS 800-273-8255.
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