The Key…

Survival Of The Negotiator…

In a Max World, I like my odds. Not because I posses exceptional survival skills, grit, and physical resiliency, though I have enough of each to get me started.

I like my odds because I know how to get along with people – even with people whose values and my own might be at opposition. That skill-set goes a long way when things in the moment seem to be coming undone.

I speak one language, English, but I speak it differently as needed throughout the course of my days. I speak in the English people need to hear. With a Texas friend, I might speak a little more casually, extend my vowels a little more, and add in some lesser words that ain’t always proper.

When speaking to a friend with a math or science background, I find myself slower to respond, more linear in discussion, thinking through answers more clearly, and always concise.

I don’t just do this with language, but also with values and ideas. There’s not two sides to every story. There are infinite facets, angles, and sub-stories. Fractals apply to ideas as well.

When I sense conflict or even mutual distrust, I break the argument down, layer after layer, until I find a mutual talking point. When I reach that point, I push the pause button and try and build the conversation from there. This usually works – usually, and that’s the key.


That ability might be the most useful, non-academic skill that I have cultivated through my conversations over crunches.

In a Mad Max world I like my odds. Not because I’m tough, but because I know even the toughest opposition usually has a mutual talking point… Jhciacb


If you are not already a subscriber, please scroll up and do so.  Tell your friends about me — about what happens when I push the STOP button on the blender in my head. Oh, and there’s this from Herb Alpert; a part of my life since I was a child.  Coolest Jew, ever.  Enjoy…

3 responses

  1. That’s a great point, Roy!!

    I think I am the same as you. I always look for areas of connection with others. It’s a rare person that I can’t find one with. As you say, that’s because we all have more in common that not.

  2. as a communication specialist where i have often had to deal with a “hostile” public, I’ve found that if i simply listen with empathy, it really goes a long way. i don;t even have to agree or find common ground. of course, this skill goes out the window with my teenage daughter.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.