Love Hate Love…
At the core of my love-hate relationship with the ideal of fitness, is my love-hate relationship with culture itself. Specifically, how society so often manages to ignore the very priorities which should preserve and enhance culture.
Example: Smoking causes early death.
Reality: Smoking is prevalent in society.
So what does this have to do with fitness…?
Example: Working out to take care of one’s self is good.
Reality: Obsessing on exercise to the point of ignoring everything else in one’s life is selfish and counterproductive.
This morning I overheard one gym member speaking to his workout partner about blowing off his wedding anniversary later that evening in favor of a 2nd workout – on the same day. Hearing this, I began reflecting on a similar moment I experienced with my own workout partner a couple of years back.
Formative Moment #3,287: The Back story…
In 2012 I had been about 7 or 8 months into one of the better training cycles, and training relationships I have enjoyed in my life. My workout partner at the time, formerly a client, was a female bodybuilder with a great physique and a supreme work ethic. She was also a working professional, the mother of 4, and seemed to have it all. She and I strength trained together 3-4 days per week, trail ran 1-2 days per week, and dined together frequently.
She was the most disciplined training partner I have ever had. She even planned her professional travel schedule around gyms in the cities and countries where she traveled. She helped reignite a fire in my training life which had been cooling for a couple of years.
If It’s Broke, Fix It. But Don’t Interrupt My Lunch…
One Sunday morning after my partner and I finished a hard trail run, we were on our way to our ritual lunch of Mediterranean salads, ice tea, and patio time in the San Diego winter sun. While driving, she got an unexpected phone call from her husband. Her son, 12, who rides motocross a very high level, had been in an accident and had broken his arm. So much for lunch.
I was a little confused when my partner didn’t turn the car around on a dime. She just continued driving as she and her husband discussed which medical facility he would take the child to. Minutes later my partner and I were on the café patio. This left me feeling uneasy. I was sitting under a palm tree drinking tea with this kid’s mother while he was on his way to the emergency room to have his broken arm set.
The following day my partner had told me that her son had a fracture of both the radial and ulna bones in his forearm, and there would need to be a surgical repair involving rods and screws. That surgery would not take place for several weeks since his arm would have to set first in a cast.
Formative Moment #3,287: Gulpsmacked…
Several weeks later my partner showed up for a morning workout. As I do with all my clients, I greeted her at the door and asked her how her family was doing. During this exchange I asked about her son’s impending surgery. I was thinking it was scheduled for later that week.
“Oh” she said, “I just dropped him off.”
Just. Dropped. Him. Off.
Now the hospital in question was only a mile from my training studio. The child’s father was with him, and my partner did have her cell phone with her. However, I just couldn’t imagine the mother of a pre-teen boy who wouldn’t want to be at her son’s beside as he goes under a general anesthetic – or at least be in the waiting room. No surgery is a guarantee, but I guess no workout is either.
That moment changed me – truly and deeply.
Yes, she was the action figure every woman wanted to be, and the best training partner I ever had. She was becoming somewhat of a social media sensation, and a local hero for her physique and for her hardcore work ethic. She was no longer though, my candidate for mother of the year.
I sauntered through our workout that day in an almost catatonic state. During my sets I was on. In-between I just looked at the floor and could hardly speak. I was saddened sickened that she chose leg day over her son’s bedside. Yet another person I had greatly admired up and disappointed me, but that’s on me not her. I should know by now the only person I should put any expectations on is me. This was just one more reminder that in life that those who seem to have so much often achieve their success at a price we may never know about behind the scenes.
My relationship with this partner deteriorated in the coming weeks, to a point where eventually we no longer trained together. She caught the CrossFit bug at just the right time, and that’s just as well since I am the opposite of CrossFit. She and I have come face to several times since the demise of our training relationship and have been cordial.
At the time she dropped her son off for his surgery in favor of a workout, I was nearing the best shape of my life past 50. That night though, as I took it all in, I ordered a pizza and enjoyed it with a beer or three – and didn’t think twice about it.
Since that day I have continued to train hard – most of the time. I have eaten well – most of the time. I have maintained a fair physique, though I am not where I was on that day two years ago. I knew the second she spoke those words to me, “I just dropped him off” that the fire required to be jacked and shredded would never burn that hot again. I can only hope that my fire to be mindful, and reasonable stays lit, and for the rest of my days. Be well. rc…
*****COMMENTS ARE CLOSED THIS WEEK*****
Please check back in a few weeks to see what happens when I hit the STOP button on the blender in m head. Oh, and there’s this from The Hoodoo Gurus. Enjoy…