“Show me a man who has the same values, and beliefs at 50 that he had at 25, and I’ll show you a man who has wasted 25 years of his life.” Muhammad Ali
As Beliefs Grow Up…
Beliefs are the first children we ever have. Like real children, beliefs begin arriving long before we are prepared for, or qualified to have them. As they grow, they end up raising us in sense, as children raise their parents. Hopefully this allows us to evolve with them in an expanding, and symbiotic relationship. As time passes we become increasingly intimate with, and committed to our beliefs.
For many, their beliefs will be the only children they ever have. Who doesn’t want to show off their children…? For others, their beliefs will be children so well-crafted they’ll rarely be exposed. Beliefs define us, express us, and explain us. They are malleable, often in flux, and very sensitive to the fingerprints of others.
Like our real children, we can be guilty at times of not executing the most proper custodial care in the raising of our beliefs. Our beliefs grow as properly as we nurture them, and direct them to. And also like children, our beliefs can be at odds with each other – despite that they are our own. We’re all familiar with feuding siblings. In that context I’ll suggest we’re just familiar with feuding beliefs living in our heads.
Like protecting our children from harm, we seek to protect our beliefs from harm in hopes that they will grow, and serve the world well. As a culture, it increasingly seems that protecting our own beliefs more resembles projecting them. We shoot our beliefs like arrows at others before they can get to ours with theirs.
Essentially, on the playground of life, we’re pitting the children of our minds against one-another rather than encouraging them to play nicely.
No Means No…
In the tired, and unsolvable debate over god, God, or no God, something should be considered; to continually attempt to change somebody’s beliefs once they have said, No Thank You, is an not only an attempted rape of that person’s most precious asset, it is an attempted murder of their mind’s children.
A good friend attempted to witness Christ to me several weeks ago. He did so softly, and congenially, but was persistent in his approach. I know this was an act of love on his behalf, and an attempt to make a positive impact on my life. I respect that. I’m certain, however, that he never considered he was attempting to make many of my children – my own beliefs disappear by pitting his to hurt mine. Perhaps when he reads this, he’ll view things differently.
I do not begrudge him for the attempt. I remain hurt though, and feel somewhat violated that when I said “no”, as I explained the comfort I have with my own beliefs, that he didn’t take no for an answer, and wouldn’t let it go. At that point, it was an emotional rape attempt.
I have been witnessed to many times prior. Several ended in the destruction of friendships, and business relationships. Not only would they not take no for answer, they attacked my beliefs, and did so in very disparaging ways.
Now that may be taken as anti-Christian statement, but I assure you it is not. It is a statement in favor of respecting the children I have raised in my mind – my beliefs. I know many atheists who are just as guilty, and just as evangelical in their approach to converting believers, and both sides should learn to end the conversation at the first, No Thank You.
The Playground Of Life…
Most parents spend a great deal of effort teaching their children to play well with others. Maybe it’s time we place just as much effort into teaching our own beliefs to play well with others. At the workplace, online, at social gatherings, and sporting events there are no recess monitors. We are self-policed – or not. I believe we can do a better job than we currently are.
We’ve all thought to ourselves, I should be more… I’ll suggest those thoughts most always arise from an internal fear we may have or develop. We don’t get angry with ourselves for questioning our own beliefs. However, when we are approached with, you should be more… we immediately take offense. There’s a disparity there that doesn’t work.
Too many people are having their beliefs attacked by the bullies of fear too often in these times. The term discourse is falling out of vogue again, as bipartisanship has. When somebody attacks our beliefs, or attempts to change them, maybe we shouldn’t get angry with them, and fight back by shooting our beliefs. Perhaps we should simply pity them, and offer them a hug, and seek the common points first. Be well… rc
Please check back in a few weeks to see what happens when I hit the STOP button on the blender in my head. Oh, and there’s this little gem from Australia’s Pat Capocci. Enjoy…