Crime And Punishment

 Intention Of Readership

If you are in the category of someone who has willfully and knowingly taken yourself to a state of morbid obesity, and are unable to participate in the physical activities of life, I am talking to you.  If most forms of recreation with friends, family, or loved ones, suffer or do not exist because of the choices you have made with regard to your eating and your lack of exercise, then I am talking to you – and I am doing so with intentionally hard words.  If you find what I have to say offensive, I am sorry.  I am hopeful though, that you will find it equally motivating – more so, because I believe in you.

If you are reading this and are active and able to participate in life, but simply don’t like the way your ass looks in a swim suit, thinks your thighs look crappy in shorts, or have ongoing belt lengthening issues, I am not talking to you. If you can shop without a motorized scooter, play catch, or ride a roller-coaster I am not talking to you.  If you look and the mirror and say, “bleh”, then proceed to go camping or mow your own lawn, I am not talking to you – though I do hope you get something out of this.

The Crime In Question

In my opinion, you have committed a crime – a murder actually, and I believe you should be punished for that murder.  With your poor choices, and your poor non-choices in eating and exercise, you have killed the you that should exist right now but doesn’t.  You have murdered that potential you in cold blood, and there you sit inside the rotting corpse with the smoking Dorito still in your hand.    

All those little bullets you have been firing into your own mouth have prevented the best possible you from existing today, and that is indeed a crime.  Not just a crime against yourself, but a crime against anyone who has ever desired to live a more complete, more active life with you; to walk with you, swim with you, play tennis with you, or to enjoy any kind of action or recreation at all with you.  With those choices and non-choices, you have killed the partner, the parent, the sibling, or the friend they have desired and deserved.

Not Punishment, Atonement

The good news is that your punishment for this crime does not need to be confinement.  In fact, it should be exploration; the exploration of the word and all that can be done in it.  This punishment is the opportunity to embrace that which you have ignored and forsaken with regard to the physical you; to seek professional advice and open yourself up to the possibility of movement.

Together, this crime and this punishment might be the only instance when someone murdered can actually be brought back to life, or brought into being for the very first time.  By simply making better choices on the heels of reading this, the you that you murdered can be resuscitated back into being. Though this sentence – this exploration, should start slowly, and with professional guidance, the sentence you should impose upon yourself is to start taking daily action – today! 

The You-logy…

Before you begin your sentence, before you start to breathe life into the you that you really should be, I do have a suggestion for you – just in case you fail at fulfilling your sentence and remain dead inside yourself.  I want you to write a eulogy for the you that you chose to kill with all of your poor choices.  A eulogy which might make mention of all the good times that were never had, all the moments that were missed, and all the relationships that have been strained by your selfish act of murdering the real you.  Be sure to name all the loved ones you have left behind.

When you are done writing that eulogy, make two copies.  Place one on your refrigerator door and the other on your pantry door.  Each time you open that pantry or open the fridge, read the eulogy – aloud.  Remind yourself who you are killing, why, and who the peripheral victims are.  Stop, breath, think, react.  Be well.  rc

Addendum: This is not directed at those who are morbidly obese to medical conditions or genetic predisposition.  Simply, this is intended for anyone who simply ate his or herself into that state of unnecessary state of being.

21 responses

  1. I literally cannot believe that you just wrote the post that I was thinking about writing not two hours ago. As you may remember from my blog, my brother is dying of lung cancer. He was admitted to Hospice on Monday and likely will be there for the duration of what life he has left. He is there because of his poor lifestyle choices, plain and simple. Roy, this makes me mad as hell. Did he ever consider what his choices could do to us, those of us who have to pick up the pieces when he’s gone? No, he did not!

    I was thinking of those who complain about their weight and don’t make any effort to get off their asses and do something about it. Life is a gift that they are stamping on with no thought to who, besides their self, could be devastated. I may feel differently tomorrow, but today, I’m sick of the excuses. So what if you grew up in a dysfunctional household, here is a newsflash: All families are dysfunctional! Stop letting the past dictate the future.

    Thanks for saying what I wish I’d said and sorry for the rant. I really needed to say that and I knew this was a safe place to say it.

    • Karen: First, let me thank you for always providing such well-thought comments here. I appreciate them a great deal.

      I hope you do write about your brother’s situation, and I hope you do it now — while he is still alive, because surely your feelings will change after he passes. I really hope you do.

      I’m sorry about all you will be going through with your brother.

      You know, I have nothing but empathy for people who are victims of nature, genetics, or poor timing. And I even have empathy for people who are victims of their own circumstance — to a point. The point at which they knew there was a problem, but chose not to address the problem is where my empathy ends.

      You can rant here any time.

  2. My brother in law should read that but his English is not good enough to really get the message and I don’t think I can translate it well enough.
    Your last statements about empathy hit home here. I’ve been feeling so sorry for him but even though he lost part of his foot to diabetes his food and exercise choices are still very bad. I think it is time I stopped excusing his actions. What he does is a slow motion suicide that affects many people around him. He is guilty as charged.
    Thank you so much for this post

  3. Always thoughtful here Roy! You know, I just heard a news story on a guy that is going to lose weight because he could not ride the new Harry Potter ride due to his weight & he really wants to ride it. Although I am glad he has a reason for losing weight, what about health, family or any other reason. This is why he wants to lose weight.. again, glad there is at least something & maybe then he will learn about everything else you wrote above.

    I hear Karen’s words too & so feel for her. My mother-in-law dies from small cell lung cancer & smoked till the day she died and yes, it is the people left behind that have to deal with the pain after the person who suffered with the pain of cancer is now gone. My mother-in-law who is was a wonderful person & that death anniversary is coming up soon, was not even a mere resemblance of herself when she died…. sad all around & one of her sons is still smoking!

    A good place to put goals, the list you mentioned , pictures & or anything else that will spur you on.. where the food is!

    • Jody: You and I have had this conversation so many times. It’s amazing how selfish people can be — but then I wonder, do they even know they are selfish — does it ever really sink in…?

  4. I hope that the people you are talking to in this post will read the whole thing and take it to heart. I wonder if this will shake them up and impact them when nothing else has. But if you even affect one, that is one life changed thanks to you.

    • Karen: Thank you. When I decided not to write this blog a few months ago, I remembered that the reason I started it to begin with was just to get through — to a single person. Not sure honestly if I have, but will keep trying until I have nothing left to say.

      • got through to me…

        Oh, and the scooter thing? I *am* obese and that just pisses me right the heck off.

        I like to take my kids to Disney World. It’s a LOT of walking. I’m young..only 38 and need to lose 90-100 lbs. If one more person tells me I “carry it well” I’ll shoot them. You don’t “carry 100 lbs well” but whatever..

        Every time I go to the World, there are women my age or younger, heavy, riding the scooters around with the chunky kids on their laps. I’m walking and every single night my feet are KILLING me..because of my weight and being out of shape. I might have to stop and sit on a bench for a minute, but I will be damned if I’m going to be so lazy as to rent a scooter because I’m too lazy to walk around disney world.

        I am SURE there are situations where it’s medically necessary and I’m not talking about those.

        I’m talking about women/men like me..who know damn well that what they really need more than anything is to WALK to Cinderella’s castle, not “scoot”

        Thanks so much for this post. Just the other day I read and commented on the “little bullets” post and both have been very timely for me this week. I’m really glad I found your site.

        The eulogy is an interesting idea. Thanks.

  5. I like the eulogy angle. Unfortunately those that really need to read this are likely so far in denial that they may never be saved. 😦

    The motorized scooter thing pisses me off with a passion. It is all too prevalent in our society – I can’t walk because I’m too fat so I’ll hop on a scooter. I see them everywhere, at the grocery store, people taking “walks” in them, etc.

    I must say though, you have captured the essense of being fat, miserable and trapped in this post. You are right, it is like firing bullets in your mouth. It’s a slow, agonizing death and in the end you may realize you’ve missed out on everything – and more.

    • Bobbie: In truth, we (society) are just as accepting of the scooters as we are of all the bad choices that put people there. With the exception of the few who obviously need them, I hate seeing those scooters because they make the problem worse.

  6. Well written, Roy. I am in the look in the mirror and go bleh stage, but the whole thing resonates deeply because I am a hit and miss with the whole food and fitness thing. I do exercise, but not consistently. I do eat right, but not always.

    Still, I feel I’m not at my best and can only imagine what it would do if I did nothing at all to take care of this ‘temple and treated it like a tent’. (in a Jimmy Buffett song somewhere)

    • Lisa: As a former Key Wester, I appreciate the temple/tent reference! What amazes me is how people treat the temple more like diaper.

      With your own fitness, my guess you are probably ahead of the game, and good for you to keep trying!

  7. “What you are is (God’s) life’s gift to you, and what you do with it is your gift to (God) life!”

    A candle can only illuminate the darkness. It cannot make anyone see, but it can provide the opportunity for sight.

    Thanks for being that candle, Roy!

    • Dr J.: Top quote is one of my favorites, and I think about it daily under the pseudonym, The Universe — but that’s just giving God another name as they say.

      Thanks for you kind words and support when my writing drifts to the more harsh side!

  8. Roy this was a very powerful and disturbing post. I sat back and thought about how I would have reacted if I had read this when I was morbidly obese. I may have thrown my computer against the wall in frustration at hearing the truth. Would I have listened? I hope so. I do look in the mirror and see all the flaws, but I can enjoy my life and that’s a great blessing.

  9. I enjoyed this very much. I am presently overweight due to OVEREATING. I chose every last junk food calorie that I ate. No one forced me to. I never made an excuse of glands, big bones, etc. But I never got so big that I needed a cart or could not participate in any activity (although I would get winded very quickly) I am fat. I know this. I have been on a lifestyle change (eating and exercise) for about 2 months and it is great. I am losing weight at a steady slow pace, have about 50 more to go. I appreciate your truthfulness to us who are succeeding. I’ll let you know how it goes….

  10. Mary: Thank you very much for your comment, and for your honesty as well. Please PLEASE stay connected and dazzle me with great tales of your success — sincerely, please help me prove to others that it CAN be done!

  11. Don’t forget to put that eulogy on the telephone (for ordering in) and in the car (for the drive thru) as well…
    Darn good post for someone who was ready to quit writing a month ago! 🙂

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