Short attention-span essay…


My amazing fiancé recently took on the project of painting motivational signs to adorn my fitness training studio.  To make them personal and unique to my cause, she suggested we use motivational sayings from me; Royisms.  We selected some choice thoughts from my own writings over the past few years.   From the 45 that we extracted as possible candidates, she chose 3 to paint on the signs.  I will not say which 3 she chose, but these are the leftovers.  I have highlighted my personal favorites in bold text.  I hope you enjoy the lighter fare this week; think of this as a short attention-span essay.  Be well.  rc

I think too much, therefore I am too much...

  1. Train like an athlete, eat like a shark, walk like a god…
  2. The most direct path to the land of complacency is lit by the television set….
  3. Attitude is not everything, but it is what gets you on your feet; or not…
  4. If you don’t enjoy exercise and right-eating, you should learn to enjoy things like insulin, dialysis, motorized scooters, and so much more…
  5. Discipline is not only your most powerful tool, it is also your most portable…
  6. Hundreds of pounds can be lifted in a single workout.  Why then, is it so hard to push away a 3 ounce dessert…
  7. Nobody ever died from a lack of sleep.  Though I suspect a few people have killed because of it…
  8. If you can only watch as you children play, without participating with them, it’s probably time to make changes in how you play…
  9. I know of no person who ever left the gym and said, “I wish I hadn’t done that”…
  10. If an exercise can be done in one place and without any equipment, it can be done in front of the television…
  11. I defy anyone to tell me that the last spoonful from a carton of ice cream tastes any better than just the first…
  12. I know of no successful fitness endeavor that began on New Year’s day.  Today is the day…
  13. Cream in your coffee or wine with dinner on a given day but never both.  Checks and balances…
  14. Better you concern yourself less with all the numbers on the LCD readout on your cardio machine; calories burned, heart-rate, etc.  Rather, concern yourself with the amount of sweat falling upon those numbers…
  15. Obesity” anagrammed is “sit obey”. So you can sit and obey your TV set, and obesity will have you right where it wants you…
  16. Your body has no idea how heavy a weight is, only how heavy it feels.  Make more from less by keeping your form in check…
  17. The number 1 reason for over eating at night, is under eating during the day…
  18. Jaw-cardio, the act of talking rather than exercising in the gym, is a disease and must be stopped in our lifetime…
  19. One definition of hell is when the person you are comes face to face with the person you wish you were…
  20. Challenging exercise never gets any easier.  It can however, become more rewarding…
  21. Addiction is a mother-fucker with a knife, a gun, and a detailed map to the home of every man, woman, and child in the country.  Check the peep-hole before you open the door…
  22. Become an exercise hobbyist; practice the art of self-insurgency…
  23. Keep your priorities in order.  In the end, you will not be judged by the size of your waist or the shape of your abs…
  24. Don’t worry about a slowing down of weight loss – it’s natural and can be overcome.  Worry more about a slowing down of your positive attitude…
  25. As a weight loss tool, the scale is worthless – unless you choose to step on and off it again and again for 30 minutes per day… (forgive me Dr. J)
  26. Please allow me to summarize all you need to know about exercise and proper eating: Exercise rigorously for 30-60 minutes every day of your life, and don’t eat crap…
  27. If you can see your ass-print on the sofa from across the room, you need to get out more…
  28. The best reasons to exercise are the ones which call you Mommy and Daddy…
  29. If your idea of fitness is bowling twice per month for cardio, and putting Aunt Jamima Lite on your waffles, success might more come slowly…
  30. Your next goal should be the completion of your next workout…
  31. Enjoy life. Celebrate moments. Just be sure to keep the size of the celebration relative to the size of the moment…
  32. For really fast results in decreasing body fat, and gaining harder & leaner muscles, go back to sleep and dream of such things happening fast…
  33. Success in fitness requires daily action…
  34. Let the day begin, the pursuit continue, the actions be completed, and the results allowed to shine for all to see…
  35. At the end of each day you can look back on, and be proud of the actions you have taken. Or, you can regret the opportunities you have forsaken…
  36. Choose wisely.  The experience of dining out should never be followed by the experience of regret…
  37. A trigger food is something which makes you want to more of it.  Better you look for a trigger exercise…
  38. The best workout partner you can have is the clock on the wall; get in, get out, get on with your busy life…
  39. I once saw my father eat 14 canolies in one sitting.  When I wheeled him out of the buffet I asked him if he knew how many he had eaten.  He did not know.  I still remember…
  40. People who classify themselves as “hard gainers” in the gym are more often than not, “big wanters”…
  41. In truth, fitness doesn’t really matter. A lack of fitness? That matters a great deal…
  42. There are as many reasons to skip exercise as there are large and breathless people scooting about the local Wal-Mart in motorized shopping carts – as they fill their handlebar baskets with pork rinds, moon pies, and their insulin prescriptions…
  43. Age and excuses go hand in hand.  The older we get, the more readily we cultivate them…
  44. Shop for a fitness trainer, don’t just settle for one.  A helpful hint?  If the trainer you seek looks like they too need a trainer, keep searching…
  45. Cheese-Its; like opium, orgasm, and a good nap rolled into one

12 responses

  1. These are terrific, Roy!! You are such a talented creative guy. I’ll be re-reading them quite often as there are so many, I’m overwhelmed.

    I’m also going to tell people to put their scales up on a chair for when they step on and off of them 🙂

  2. My personal favs: #14, #19, #26, #38.

    I’m surprised I didn’t see one about thinking of lunges as a life skill. 🙂

    My dental hygenist is a personal trainer, and this a.m. as I was getting a cleaning I was trying to think of how you worded that to me before, and as I was wording this to her and I came off sounding like a jack ass. LOL

  3. Bobbie: Thanks. I have to give Ben Franklin a writer’s credit for #19 — paraphrased. Most of the others are true Royisms, though all “isms” are derivative of the first hominid grunt.

  4. I remember : Right Here! Right Now! You can do it!
    At first, I didn’t know that I could “Do It”….though 2 days afterwards, I knew I did it, and cursed you for my sore muscles…That was before I loved the feeling of muscles being used. Thanks for your Royisms…..Goes along with the “say something that, when alone, I can repeat by heart” quote by R. Frost.

  5. Doug: Thank you. I like 29 also — I once hurld that at a cleint in heated discussion. She remains a client, and has lost 40 pounds.

    Laurie: I think I rememebr as many Laurieisms, such as “the uncaused causing” I know that was not a Laurie original, but the Passover basket certainly was.

    Eva: Funny thing is, a lot of those Royisms stuck with you. How far you have come……..! Thanks for all the hard work!

  6. Jody: You did not show up in spam, so your comment must be in cyber space somewhere, but thank you for returning. Your input is ALWAYS appreciated!!! Your connection to exercise and it’s value is clearly reflected in the Royisms you keyed in on!

  7. Love them, Roy! Especially #4. How I live my life. So true. So funny! Dawnism – I am going to be as healthy as I can for as long as I can.

  8. Joyce (Dawn): Your perspective on that is appreciated — you truly do live that, and for that I admire you more than you know. That, and that you brought “Middle Name March” into my life. Andrew

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