Mental as anything…

 I’m going totally mental. My mind has become too quick to absorb the flow of character flaws which pours from hominid to hominid, along with their sweat and breath, in the course of their exercise. From within the these human forms, my gym air fills with emotional exhaust fumes. The release of those personalities is toxic in large doses.

 The forces of good and the powers of evil are reflected to us from the eyes, the words, and the breath of those in our proximity.  I exist all day in a bingo hopper of gods and demons; the gym of letting go.   Problem is, I can’t always tell which eyes are throwing off evil, and who’s words cast off the good. That in itself may be my problem; my expectation that a person be exclusively good or evil, and that no intermingling of those predisposition’s is possible.  I should know better…

 This consumes me. As I move about my gym floor, I continually hear bits and pieces of varying personalities and a variety of thoughts – all day long. From this bantering and release of inner turmoil, I am often able to weave together consistencies among the thoughts of others in my mind, along with the behaviors and the tendencies which accompany them. The tapestry I see from that assemblage displays a strange singular image in my head; God-like creatures, dancing to the music of the devil.

 “Are people”, I ask myself, “in the gym for the purpose of good, or for reasons lesser reasons?”

 For as much as I identify and rationalize the value of the gym as a place of mental release, physical change, self-medication, and self-improvement, I accept that it is also a gathering place for hearts astray, for escaping problems, and for a forced socialization.

 It may be another gross over simplification in my mind, but it’s as though there are two mind-sets in the gym; those running toward something, such as improved health or an augmented aesthetic form.  Or, those running away from something else – work, family, problems, etc.  There is seemingly much more talk in my gym of these days of running away; adultery, promiscuity, drug and alcohol use, and disrespect for others, as there is of getting lean, getting strong, and beating diabetes or cancer. My sanctuary is boiling over.

 If these words hit your eyes with an obvious negative connotation, here’s an exercise which may explain why:

 Put a glass of dirty water beside a glass of clear water. From the glass of dirty water, take but a single spoonful and stir it in to the clear water. In an instant, you now have two glasses of dirty water.

 Starting over again, stir in from the clear water, a spoonful into the glass of dirty water. The dirty water remains dirty – the clear water has not changed anything.

 My point in this exercise? That in a room with several people, some with good and others with not-so-good intentions, it seems to me that not-so-good is winning – so far as the gym goes. But that’s only the surface, and just a casual observation. The truth is always somewhere in between, right?

 I guess this is why I like to workout in an armored trance, existing fluidly within the slight pinch of my headphones. I am one who is running toward something and I can’t wait to get there. Actually, I’m running away too – from myself.  My workouts are where I leave my problems behind, but I do so with my flesh, not my mouth.  Like I said, the truth is always somewhere in between, right?

 I understand that the actions, conversations, and behaviors I bath in each day at my gym are not limited to gym life. That people are good and evil in and out of the gym. And more importantly, that most of us are predisposed to both good and evil wherever we go. That the command and release of our positive and negative behaviors is an ongoing series of choices, sometimes battles in life. I also understand that for the gym masses, each person is probably both running toward something, and away from something else.

 It’s interesting though, what a wide, broad, and clear view of the human experience my gym window provides for me each day. How lucky I am, to have a window seat on the ark of human behavior, as I watch the arch of human behavior.  Be well.  rc

2 responses

  1. Your tale reminds me of the Buddha, going out from the shelter of his palatial youth into the shocking world he had known so little about!

    Continue to be a candle, Roy. Though it may not clean the dirty water, it will add some illumination to the thirsty environment.

    Be well, my friend…

    • Dr J; Thanks! In hind sight, just a bad week I guess. Ironic, my daughter gave me a copy of Hesse’s, Siddhartha, to read before she took off to Chicago this week.

      It’s all good, just need in need of an attitude adjustment — self-imposed, or a little poke from a friend or two may help.


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