An absence of desire; a passion for success

Sometimes relationships don’t work out. And some times relationships don’t workout.
Many of us know too well what it’s like to go through the motions in a relationship, knowing full well that the relationship is dying, dead, or was never alive to begin with. Still, there are those who choose to carry on in false hope day-to-day, week-to-week, pretending they are happy and convincing themselves that the relationship will work out. This happens too often because society looks down on those who walk away, even when walking away is what is best — what is right. As a point of fact, and at their deepest level, most people know better – know when a relationship has expired; their instincts tell them so, even when those around them won’t. Still, it is up to the individual to listen to their instincts.


Breaking up is hard...

Breaking up is hard...

So too can be the net of the relationship between the fitness enthusiast and their exercise of choice. In many ways a relationship with exercise is like a marriage; there needs to be respect, appreciation, trust, and a reason to want to continue each day, each week. Should there be no deep connection between a person and their chosen form of exercise – no passion nor appreciation, they may find themselves going through the motions. In-turn, they will be wasting their time, their energy, getting no return on their investment, and becoming resentful of the scenario as a whole. As in a human relationship, many fitness enthusiasts go through the motions of their daily workouts when they should be channeling those energies into another form of exercise.

There are many people who dread going to the gym each day to lift weights, yet each day they go. They drudge, they grunt, they grumble, and the get nothing from it at all except tired, achy, and put off by the experience — and then they resent their exercise and think hastily of it When confronted by friends, family, or co-workers, they speak of their exercise in expletives and utter disrespect. Their dedication to this relationship should be applauded – for that daily commitment is nothing short of admirable, even if it isn’t that productive. But their feelings for the relationship aren’t conducive to success, and I am convinced that people who disrespect their chosen form of exercise, as in disrespecting a spouse or partner, get little if anything from it.

Some people hate exercise with all the hate they can possibly hate something with...

Some people hate exercise with all the hate they can possibly hate something with...

Though I will always champion strength training as the best all around form of exercise, these same people who loathe lifting weights, might be better off going to a yoga studio each day and bending, stretching and contorting their way to an improved body. Perhaps a workout in an aerobics class might be better appreciated, a group bootcamp workout done on the beach, or a marshal arts class might serve well to consummate a better fitness fit. And speaking of fit, there’s always CrossFit. In return, the investment of their fitness heart and soul might offer much more to, and garner more from their relationship. One thing we can all agree on; a bad relationship can not be forced — nor can a strong one be intentionally divided.

Like a human relationship, a long-term relationship with exercise may take time to cultivate, will likely experience many highs and lows, and ultimately a person may find they have to live through several fitness relationships before they find the right one – before they find their fitness soul-mate as it where. And even when it is right, it will still take work – take effort to keep the connection between fitness enthusiast and exercise alive. I would say though, that if one has done Pilates for fourteen years and still hates (disrespects) Pilates, it’s time to move on and look ahead for a better fit — it’s time to quit forcing it.

There are no bad guys here – no wrong choices either. Only the trial and error of learning what is right for the individual. It is the subtle differences which lend themselves to a true fitness friendship — a true connection, or to a dysfunctional fitness family. As such, choosing the right form of exercise for you is as important as choosing the right spouse – that you stay connected with your exercise for life. Because like a human relationship, we should be partnered up with the right exercise for all our days.

Hmmmmm, exercise.... the only one who ever loved me back....

Hmmmmm, exercise.... the only one who ever loved me back....

I believe that respect and appreciation are at the heart of any relationship – human, fitness, or otherwise. If one appreciates their exercise as they appreciate their spouse, if one respects their exercise as they respect their family, one will be willing to give much more and in-turn, receive more fruit from their labor.

There are many forms of exercise, and many ways to go about conditioning the body. Where I once thought weight training was the best way – the only way to condition one’s self, I now realize that it’s the connection to exercise itself which matters most, and that the relationship be nurtured and respected as any relationship should.   Be well.  rc

2 responses

  1. I really enjoyed this post for numerous reasons. I love how you hooked my attention from the very beginning with the human aspect of relationships and how you intermingled the training aspect within it. This hits me hard as I have been going through my little bout of relationship issues which also includes casual dating. And it’s true, appreciation, respect, passion, trust and most importantly connection is what makes a human relationship and a training relationship with thyself and the exercise the individual chooses at hand GREAT. You hit everything on it’s head with a nail.

    Going to the gym has always been there for me. Hitting the dumbbells faithfully, respecting them and me throughout the process has always worked. When everyone or every situation has turned their back on me, the gym.. strength-training has been my everything. On a side note: I do feel society places a huge emphasis on working on human relationships to the “bitter end.” Intuition does play it’s role very well if the person allows it in and the rose-colored glasses can up and leave.

    Once again, thank you for writing. 😉

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