I have seen it happen time, and time again. A person falls behind with their personal fitness; either they have never had it, or they have had it and let it slip away as adulthood manifested and responsibility set in. Some are fortunate though and are able to earn it, or to earn it back through hard work, perseverance, and consistency.
In a friendship, this can often leave a gap – some distance between the one who makes their personal fitness an increased priority, and one who views their body as a vehicle of forgivable sin. There can be resentment, frustration an increased stress on the friendship, and even a feeling of being left behind by one party.
This always breaks my heart. I can’t imagine not supporting a friend who strives to better his or her life. Often times this increased focus on personal fitness is viewed, or rationalized, by the outside friend as an obsession. Having been exposed to these situations so often, I rarely see this as a real obsession. It’s an appreciation and a commitment; an appreciation of being able to do, feel, and experience more in life, and a commitment to the lifestyle which enables that appreciation.
“To live is to fly” Townes Van Zandt Me on Monserat Hill 12/9/12. Fallbrook, CA
Here’s an open memo to the friends “left behind” everywhere: Be supportive of your friend in pursuit of change. Be understanding of the sacrifices required to make that change. Perhaps, you could even be inspired by said fitness-obsessed friend, and make some changes too… rc
Sharing a love of fitness as a couple can certainly add plenty of fun to the relationship!
I’m very glad that both you and I are in positions where we can offer some fitness help to our “brothers and sisters!”
Love the photo and the sentiment!
Thanks for taking the time Dr. J! It amazes me that more people aren’t willing to feed off the positive energy of others in pursuit of greater things. Check back in two weeks for more on that,,,,
I’m thankful for my friends, including you, Mr. Cohen, who encourage me to stay on track.
One of the best conversations I ever started Deb, was when we met at Rocky Ford. So grateful to know you!
I’ve seen this happen too. A spouse, friend, or significant other changes his/her life and the other partner doesn’t understand, doesn’t support, and it often leads to problems.
Yes, Diane, we have discussed this before over at your blog, http://www.fittothefinish.com/blog/ In truth, I see it with spouses more than with friends.
I’ve definitely become somewhat estranged from several formerly close friends in the past five-ish years, since changing my lifestyle, losing weight, making health and fitness my top priority, etc. I make a point NOT to make my habits and beliefs part of the conversation, etc., but, honestly, these friends who are sedentary, overweight, SAD-overeaters, etc. seem to be very intimidated and uncomfortable around me…sometimes passive-aggressive and sometimes outright insulting. Not my problem. I assume that seeing me living a disciplined and very happy life subconsciously reminds them that they are, in many ways, wasting theirs.
Thanks for dropping in Norma! Exactly. We are who we roll with — until we roll away from them — then they resent us for it.
Please check back, because my next essay is a case study in a client of mine pulling away from the pack. I will say in advance, it’s the most important essay I have ever written.
Thanks, I absolutely will. And continuing that theme, yes; I have gained more than an equal number of similarly-minded new friends in that time period…the whole “birds of a feather” thing, or, as my late, great mother used to say, “Tell me who you’re with and I’ll tell you who you are.”
LOVE!!! Yes, have seen this too & we all need to help one another!
We don’t need to help each other Jody, and we should. The problem is, not too many do